From time to time, we actors come across some breakdowns that are either really funny, messed, up, stupid, shady, etc.

Now here's your chance to share with us!

I'll start!

During the past few weeks, I've been getting notices for this "Production" via LACasting and Actorsaccess.

NUDE NUNS WITH BIG GUNS
Non-Union Feature Film

Casting Director: Robert Hayes
Shoot/Start Date: Mid September 2009
Pay Rate: $100 a day
Location: Highland, CA

SUBMIT HARDCOPY

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY FREAK SHOW ENTERTAINMENT
7917 SANTA PAULA ST.
HIGHLAND, CA 92346

PLEASE SUBMIT BY JULY 18, 2009

NOTE: ALSO INCLUDE PERFORMANCE VIDEOS OR ACTOR SLATES IF AVAILABLE. DO NOT SEND DEMO TAPES.

THERE IS NUDITY IN THIS PROJECT.

Additional Personnel & Production Info: Freak Show Entertainment is an independent production company specializing in the thriller and exploitation genre. Our last film 'RUN! BITCH RUN! has received world wide and domestic distribution and premiered at Cannes. Check out www.freakshowentertainment.com for samples of our work

FATHER VARGAS / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / All Ethnicities / 35-40
Father Vargas is the worst of the entire corrupt priests at the church. He will twist the words of God into his own sick meaning to get people to follow him. FULL NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:42:00 AM

BIKER THUGS / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / All Ethnicities / 35-45
We need the toughest, craziest looking, MOFO’s out there to be part of the LOS MUERTOS biker gang. Able to ride a motorcycle a plus.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 7/10/2009 7:29:00 AM

NUDE NUNS / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 18-35
We need women to play NUNS that are forced into cutting and packing drugs. THIS PART REQUIERS FULL FRONTAL and TOPLESS NUDITY
Rate: $100
Role Added 7/10/2009 7:31:00 AM

STRIPPERS / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 18-35
We need beautiful woman to be strippers at the CHERRY POPPER. The Cherry Popper is the local strip joint where the biker gang the LOS MUERTOS hang out. THIS PART REQUIRES NUDITY
Rate: $100
Role Added 7/10/2009 7:30:00 AM

BORRACHO / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Hispanic / 35-45
Borracho is a fat, sweaty, mean looking Mexican that is in charge of making sure the NUNS packing the drugs don’t take any for themselves.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 7/10/2009 7:28:00 AM

GUS / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Hispanic / 35-45
Gus is a dirty, tuff looking biker guy. He is the drug runner between the Los Muertos biker gang and the church.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 7/10/2009 7:27:00 AM

MR. FOO / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Asian / 50-65
Mr. Foo runs the local “medicinal” den the DRAGON CHASSER. He is brought in to keep the nuns doped-uped and submissive. When Sarah is on the verge of overdosing Mr. Foo brings her back to life.
Rate: $100 a Day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:42:00 AM

SISTER MARY / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 45-60
Sister Mary is the only witness to the killing of two corrupt priests. But her vow of silence keeps her from identifying who this killer is. In order to get the information out of her, KICKSTAND, a member of the biker gang, uses his well-endowed anatomy to get the information from her. A SIMULATED RAPE SCENE IS REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:41:00 AM

BEVERLY / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 25-30
Beverly is Butch’s ditsy lesbian lover and also a bartender at the Cherry Popper, the town’s local bar. She’s the one that informs the biker gang where they can find their vigilante. WOMAN ON WOMAN KISSING IS REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:40:00 AM

SUSAN / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / Caucasian / 40-43
Mom, Lovely. Slight build. JUNE CLEAVER type, Sun dress, sandals and hair held up by a scarf. She suffers a brutal rape at the hands of a Horrific Biker Gang while her husband and daughter watch. NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED RAPE SCENE REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:39:00 AM

BUTCH / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / All Ethnicities / 25-30
Butch is the owner of the seedy Palms Motel. Her and her lesbian lover are usually found making out whenever they are not working. Butch is the one who actually gets the upper on the Vigilante Killer but it doesn’t turn out well when her lust for the female body eventually leads to her demise. FULL NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE WITH A WOMEN + WOMAN ON WOMAN KISSING IS REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:39:00 AM

STANLEY / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Caucasian / 40-45
William H. Macey type. Slight build The typical all American Dad. White socks pulled to the knees, Bermuda shorts and a pink Polo shirt. He tries to do the right thing and protect his family but instead has to watch his wife get raped by a Brutal Biker Gang and eventually gets killed trying to stop them.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:38:00 AM

PENNY / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / Caucasian / 18-21
Jail Bait. Juliette Lewis from CAPE FEAR type. Typical American teenager that is forced to take a long family vacation with her dull parents in a beat up station wagon. She must endure and witness the rape of her mother and the cold blooded murder of her father. She to will suffer the same fate as them at the hands of a ruthless biker gang. TOPLESS NUDITY IS REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:36:00 AM

HALF-BREED / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Hispanic, Native American / 40-45
Muscular build. Chavo’s second in command. Half Indian-half Mexican but all crazy. Son of a bitch who will skin you alive just for casting a shadow upon him. Good with the gun but weapon of choice is the bowie knife. In a jam any knife will do. Skills with knives are a plus and able to ride a motorcycle is a plus.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:35:00 AM

KICKSTAND / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / African American / 35-45
Muscular build. The only African American in the gang of out law bikers called the Los Muertos. Nick-named “Kickstand” for a certain part of his male anatomy. Specialties, Gun running & Mechanic. Able to fix anything that rolls on two wheels. Able to ride a motorcycle is a plus. SHIRTLESS WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:34:00 AM

MOTHER MAGDA / Non-Union / Supporting / Female / Hispanic / 45-50
Mother Magda is the head Nun in charge of recruiting the young, naive, Nuns into a life of drugs and prostitution. She runs her Nunnery like a prison. She is mean spirited vicious and one tuff bitch. Heavy set prison guard type
Rate: $100
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:33:00 AM

FATHER CARLITO / Non-Union / Supporting / Male / Hispanic / 40-50
Father Carlito is a corrupt priest that runs his church like a Mafia family. He is a opportunistic, no-nonsense, man that will take down anybody that gets in the way of what he wants. Familiarity with guns a plus.
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:31:00 AM

CHAVO / Non-Union / Lead / Male / Hispanic / 40-50
(Danny Trejo Type) One tough Mexican - Muscular build. The leader of LOS MUERTOS, long greasy black hair with a face that looks like a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing. He’s the one in charge of tracking down the vigilante nun and will what ever it takes to bring her down. Able to ride a motorcycle is a plus. SHIRTLESS WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE REQUIRED
Rate: $100 a day
Role Added 6/20/2009 11:30:00 AM

SISTER SARAH / Non-Union / Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / 25-35
Athletic build. Sister Sarah joins the Nunnery to serve God but is horrified to learn that the Church is a front for a drug and prostitution ring. After years of being abused and eventually tossed aside and left for dead she decides the best way to serve the Lord is to take bloody revenge on all those who did her wrong. This role requires FULL NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED RAPE SCENE, FULL NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE WITH A MAN, FULL NUDITY WITH A SIMULATED SEX SCENE WITH A WOMEN, WOMAN ON WOMAN KISSING, AND SIMILATED DRUG USE
Rate: $100 a day

SYNOPSIS: Sister Sarah, a young, naive Nun who is forced into a life of drugs and prostitution by the church, is left for dead after she is no longer needed by the church. After a spiritual awakening and an uncontrollable lust for vengeance, Sara sets out to dispense Judgment Day on those who did her wrong.

They still haven't found their naked nuns? This breakdown has been posted over and over again on AA for a while. $100 bucks a day! Woot!

quote:

Originally posted by TRUTHTELLER59:
From time to time, we actors come across some breakdowns that are either really funny, messed, up, stupid, shady, etc.

Now here's your chance to share with us!

I definitely see some stupid ones, next time I'm on I'll pay attention and post more here. Mostly I'd say a lot of the ones that I come across are just really unimaginative, especially when it comes to women. "Sexy, exotic, beautiful, yet innocent..." ::gags::

I love the idea of this thread and can't wait to read them! After we collect some good ones, I'll remove any identifying specifics and try and turn it into a mocking column for Working Actor!

quote:

Originally posted by Jackie:
After we collect some good ones, I'll remove any identifying specifics and try and turn it into a mocking column for Working Actor!

Yum...

I found this on LA Casting and I for some reason find it offensive.


Call No Man American
Feature Film, Non-Union Posted: 7/3/2009
Union Status Non-Union
Rate The greatest film ever made.

Synopsis
The year is 2050. Economic depression, civil war, and disease have spiraled the once United States of America into a state of anarchy and destitution. Southern California is the stage of this post-Apocalyptic film. The lands are divided between four different factional lords. Mexicans control food and produce, Vietnamese control oil refining and production, The Jews control water and sanitation., and the strongest and most powerful faction, the so called "purest" of the Americans, representing European and White protestant roots, control electricity and waste . Each fuedal lord has his own land and resource, each his own vassals and peasants. The countryside is wrought with barbarian and renegade vandals. Vassals and peasants have sworn their allegiance to their lords in return for protection from the barbary of the countryside. In these chaotic times, each faction wages war with another to fight for ultimate supremacy and lordship of the lands.

Truthteller-- "for some reason find it offensive"-- hilarious intro! Wow that breakdown made "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" look reasonable!

Truthteller,
That sounds more like an online interactive video game....

We're going to be racially pure in 2050? Umm... somehow I don't think that's going to happen.

This one made me laugh because of the utter lack of context:

SVA In-Class Short Film Project - SAG/Non-SAG

Child: Girl, any ethnicity, 10. Child must not be afraid of an actual live chicken.

These aren't really breakdowns, but I find it annoying when these people post classes in the breakdown services.

Francene Selkirk-Ackerman
Casting Notice


Project Name:Adult Improvisation Class with Cynthia Szigeti
Project Type:Commercial
Format:
Rate/Compensation:This is a class-No pay-$400/8-weeks. Deposit $200.

Message:
Role: STUDENTS

Gender/Age/Ethnicities:
Male or Female / 18 to 100 / All Ethnicities

Description/Note: Class starts Wednesday, July 22--7PM-11PM--$400
8 weeks/$400.00
Ages 18-100

All classes are on Wednesday evenings!

or

Francene Selkirk-Ackerman

Casting Notice

Project Name:6-week On Camera Adult Commercial Class
Project Type:Commercial
Format:
Rate/Compensation:There is no pay. This is a class. There is a fee to participate

Message:

Role: STUDENTS

Gender/Age/Ethnicities:
Male or Female / 18 to 99 / All Ethnicities

Description/Note:
6-Week On Camera Adult Commercial Class- 6 week classes
Tuesday Nights Beginning July 28th/$350.00


Has anyone taken these classes? Are they any good. The improv is more than Second City, Groundlings, or UCB. Is it really that much better?

quote:

Originally posted by Iznyc:
Jackie, I love the idea for this thread, too. In fact I love it so much I started one just like it over at actors access over a year ago.

http://more.showfax.com/bbs2/viewtopic.php?t=5788

Yeah, I'm busting chops today.

I used to read both boards. I love that board, but one is enough for me these days. Don't worry, I don't think anyone's getting cash or credit for starting these threads....

Here's one that was on there a while back.

Chinamen / Co-Star / Male / 20 to 60 / Asian
Looking for a small person. Dwarf or midget. Must be small and know how to speak Chinese. Bald head with a fu man chu.

That's RACIST!

quote:

Originally posted by TRUTHTELLER59:
I found this on LA Casting and I for some reason find it offensive.


Call No Man American
Feature Film, Non-Union Posted: 7/3/2009
Union Status Non-Union
Rate The greatest film ever made.

Synopsis
The year is 2050. Economic depression, civil war, and disease have spiraled the once United States of America into a state of anarchy and destitution. Southern California is the stage of this post-Apocalyptic film. The lands are divided between four different factional lords. Mexicans control food and produce, Vietnamese control oil refining and production, The Jews control water and sanitation., and the strongest and most powerful faction, the so called "purest" of the Americans, representing European and White protestant roots, control electricity and waste . Each fuedal lord has his own land and resource, each his own vassals and peasants. The countryside is wrought with barbarian and renegade vandals. Vassals and peasants have sworn their allegiance to their lords in return for protection from the barbary of the countryside. In these chaotic times, each faction wages war with another to fight for ultimate supremacy and lordship of the lands.

??? I guess I need to get the hell out of Dodge. Maybe all Black Americans moved to Canada by 2050.