quote:

Originally posted by workinactor:
It's a tough question.I'm 43. I've worked enough to be vested(pension). I've been in an academy-award winning film, worked with a martial-arts legend in another film,done a fuckton of indie films and VO work. That said, I just had the worst 3 years if my life, being in 3 terrible films in a row.

I thought about walking away, but I won't. I'm good, and I have more to say as an actor.
A lot more.

quote:

Originally posted by SPYDOG:
Speaking of relationships, most friends, family, and strangers I meet seem to look down on acting and the arts as a career.

Tonight I met a lawyer. And the lawyer spewed out the popular MYTH that actors should only be talking about the craft, not making money. "If you want to make money, then be a lawyer instead."

Talking about making money as an actor is a lot like going on a date and saying that you want sex. A lot of people will immediately put up a wall.

I don't mind cutting my teeth in small theater gigs and indy film projects. The whole point, for me, is acquire the industry package and honed skill sets needed to do it for a living. The closer I get to that goal, the further it seems-- if you look at how much can be spent on trying to get a professional break.

The transformation that happens when you become one with the character, knowing you control audience laughter in the palm of your hand, and admiration one receives from acting are thrilling. You'll hear people genuinely insist that you be a performer.

I'm 41 now, broke. I don't mind working night and day on a shoot. But hard work for low pay in sideline jobs doesn't exactly leave a lot of energy for other things. Why shouldn't we want to make money as actors, and why can't we say so?

I have no plans to quit acting. I hope to strike it big and donate money to charity. Realistically, one of my acting mentors tells me about people who tried all their life and are now senior citizens with nothing in the bank. If I make the big bucks and get to talk on some latenight interview, mark my words, I'm going to go off about the nonsense of some myth that we're not supposed to be honest about wanting to make money as an actor. The craft itself is not about money, not at all. But darned if life-- and the business of the craft-- isn't about the dough ray mi.

"Oh, I just love every bit of it sooooo much! I only do it for the love of it!... Oh, and your a** doesn't look fat wearing that, really." The actors in LA who tell me that they only do it for the love of it are, perhaps, the most unbelievable (i.e. don't maintain audience suspension of belief).

For me, the time to quit chasing the dream would be if my true love asked me to. That would be due to possibly having a kid and needing cash. Most of my friends work in the arts. They're making money. If being the richest actor meant a life without love, then I'll choose love over acting. I can make an arena cheer and laugh. It's awesome. But there's nothing greater than a loving relationship, to me anyway, if we had to choose.

quote:

Originally posted by John999:
Regardless of my perspective on the matter, the dedication and perseverance you all have attested to is very inspiring.

I like that Will Smith quote: "Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity."

I hope I have it in me to continue. I feel like I'm going to move more towards directing, and production. And that might be even HARDER to break into! What an industry, 'eh?

That said, not having any health insurance doesn't feel very good...

This subject is touchy for me, because, I was a pre-med student in college. I was accepted into Columbia's medical program, and was going to enter before running into major financial issues. I was broke, stressed, and wasn't passionate about medicine. My parents almost disowned me for dropping it. I went back to college soon after that and went for something I LOVED.

My dad always said that being a doctor had a prestige to it; people respect you. While many others don't agree, I feel like being an actor also has a prestige to it. It says, "I'm brave enough to wander into the unknown, following my love into the darkness."

Hold your head high when you tell people you're an actor!

quote:

Originally posted by Michael Kostroff:
Hey, all ---

I'm planning on referencing this thread in an upcoming column. If any of you would prefer not to be quoted, let me know as soon as possible. (Our user agreement entitles Back Stage to use posted material as we see fit, but I'd prefer not to annoy anyone.) I won't be including the user names, just the quotes.

quote:

Originally posted by Totallycool:

Good for you and good luck!

Your parents are right. In the eyes of mediocre people, being a doctor does have prestigue simply because of the money and "security". People aren't TRULY concerned with the fact that doctors help people. Nor do they realize all the scandalous pharmacutical persuasion and testing that doctors engage in that turn patients into genuie pigs! But, thats a whole other discussion. Is your father a doctor?

I hate it when parents push their children to do things with their life that they wouldn't do. They'll say that they are too busy or too old to go back to school but, thats BS. I saw sixty-year olds getting their B.A.'s!

The thing is that money has people running scared and doing stupid things like throwing most of their life away for a precious 9-5 that they loathe for the simple fact that it was the first thing that they could secure.

I'm sure your parents love you very much and were very scared and they thought that by disowning you that you would "come to your senses" and go back to med school. Also, as much as parents will deny it, they want the ability to be proud of their kids. I'll never forget the day my dad tried to scare me by telling me "You're being compared" (to a cousin who I had naturally always outshown). I was like, "And, you think I don't know?" It was hurting him more than me, his little rocket scientist was throwing away her good senses,lol. Ofcourse, when I started succeeding in finding my own auditions, over heard him bragging about it to coworkers because it sounds glamourous...

The truth is that your parents should have seen that decision coming all along and instead of fighting and supressing you, they should have supported you!

Unfortunately, being an entertainer is only admirable to the majority of people when you are wealthy and constantly working. But the majority can't and won't go as far as we will.

You can never let what other people think deter you. Stephen King used to be a Janitor and Berry White was broke as broke could be before success. Same for a lot of actors. They didn't strive for poverty but it happens. People forget that this happens to the majority of the population regardless of how safe they play it.

quote:

Originally posted by donquixote:
I think this is a wonderful discussion here with a wide range of opinions - which only shows that there isn't one "right" answer at all. Everyone is different, and one's journey with this craft at the end of the day is a deeply personal one.

When I was in my 20s, I was far more idealistic (but I doubt that was because I was pursuing acting; it's simply being "in my 20s") - I really did believe in the whole "go big or go home" and that it had to be my life. Even now, I see some of the younger actors I know, some of them very smart with a good head on their shoulders, attack it with a hunger and voraciousness that I can admire.

And then life happens. Living the life of a starving artist is tolerable, maybe even romantic, when you're in your 20s. But it becomes harder to put up with for many people as we get into our 30s, 40s and beyond - so while I used to have contempt for people who never "pursued their dreams" or who gave up on their dreams, I don't anymore. Because I'm at that point in my life where I totally understand why it can be a wonderful thing to "give up on your dreams" - because your life TODAY can be far more important than your dreams. Not everyone wants a comfortable life, but it's okay to want that. It's okay to want a family, kids, to have a home, to have a nice life - not everyone wants that, but you shouldn't have to feel guilty about it if those aspects become more important priorities in your life (or if they are what you aspire to wanting more than an acting career).

Don't stick to something out of pride. If it's making you miserable, quit and move on, whether it's a relationship, a bad job, or even acting. Life is short - and as we all get older, we are reminded that ever more often as more people we know pass away.

It really comes down to being truly honest with yourself, which can be incredibly hard if you have a big ego to grapple with.

It's okay to quit. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about it if leaving it behind opens other doors that make you more happy. The longer you stick with acting, the more actors you'll meet over the years that step away from it, and they do so whole heartedly, and I'm sure quite a few do so with few regrets and are happier for having done so (but having no regrets for having pursued acting in the first place). Being prepared to close one chapter in your life to move onto another can be incredibly liberating.

You can always come back to it. Or not. That is, if your heart desires.

No matter where you are in your "career" as an actor, there are always going to be plenty of actors out there with way more credits than you who are even more miserable than you are in spite of their greater success. Whether you step away from it or not has nothing to do with your career, and more to do with what is going on inside of you - and what you value in your life beyond acting.

I guess I'm saying that a lot of people who started pursuing this early tended to leave it by their 30s or 40s - even if they achieved some modicum of success, because it's around that time when many of us are introduced to other aspects of life that we value, and where we don't get as much fulfillment from such as singular focus on just one thing (with the exception of a few - and those who attain external success from that singularity of purpose are heralded as geniuses; those who don't are considered delusional or even pathetic - that's the cruelty of it all).

quote:

Originally posted by John999:

quote:

Originally posted by donquixote:
I think this is a wonderful discussion here with a wide range of opinions - which only shows that there isn't one "right" answer at all. Everyone is different, and one's journey with this craft at the end of the day is a deeply personal one.

When I was in my 20s, I was far more idealistic (but I doubt that was because I was pursuing acting; it's simply being "in my 20s") - I really did believe in the whole "go big or go home" and that it had to be my life. Even now, I see some of the younger actors I know, some of them very smart with a good head on their shoulders, attack it with a hunger and voraciousness that I can admire.

And then life happens. Living the life of a starving artist is tolerable, maybe even romantic, when you're in your 20s. But it becomes harder to put up with for many people as we get into our 30s, 40s and beyond - so while I used to have contempt for people who never "pursued their dreams" or who gave up on their dreams, I don't anymore. Because I'm at that point in my life where I totally understand why it can be a wonderful thing to "give up on your dreams" - because your life TODAY can be far more important than your dreams. Not everyone wants a comfortable life, but it's okay to want that. It's okay to want a family, kids, to have a home, to have a nice life - not everyone wants that, but you shouldn't have to feel guilty about it if those aspects become more important priorities in your life (or if they are what you aspire to wanting more than an acting career).

Don't stick to something out of pride. If it's making you miserable, quit and move on, whether it's a relationship, a bad job, or even acting. Life is short - and as we all get older, we are reminded that ever more often as more people we know pass away.

It really comes down to being truly honest with yourself, which can be incredibly hard if you have a big ego to grapple with.

It's okay to quit. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about it if leaving it behind opens other doors that make you more happy. The longer you stick with acting, the more actors you'll meet over the years that step away from it, and they do so whole heartedly, and I'm sure quite a few do so with few regrets and are happier for having done so (but having no regrets for having pursued acting in the first place). Being prepared to close one chapter in your life to move onto another can be incredibly liberating.

You can always come back to it. Or not. That is, if your heart desires.

No matter where you are in your "career" as an actor, there are always going to be plenty of actors out there with way more credits than you who are even more miserable than you are in spite of their greater success. Whether you step away from it or not has nothing to do with your career, and more to do with what is going on inside of you - and what you value in your life beyond acting.

I guess I'm saying that a lot of people who started pursuing this early tended to leave it by their 30s or 40s - even if they achieved some modicum of success, because it's around that time when many of us are introduced to other aspects of life that we value, and where we don't get as much fulfillment from such as singular focus on just one thing (with the exception of a few - and those who attain external success from that singularity of purpose are heralded as geniuses; those who don't are considered delusional or even pathetic - that's the cruelty of it all).

I was watching "The Words" recently, which chronicles Bradley Cooper as a struggling writer trying to make ends meet. There's a point when his father tells him - "Sometimes, being a 'man' means accepting your own limitations," in regard to Cooper not being able to make a living off of writing.

And, I think that applies to everyone. Be smart enough to accept your own limitations. Adjust your ambition so that it is equal to your skill. Having a huge head will lead you down a bad road.