On our journeys, we've all met teachers either whom we respect or think are full of shit who are guilty of saying things that made you either scratch your head, question, totally disagree with, or just plain annoyed the hell out of you.
Here's your chance to share.
RULES-To avoid any major kind of controversy or this thread getting closed
1. NO NAMING TEACHERS OR SCHOOLS IN THIS THREAD!
So no, "ooh, (insert teacher's name) said that!" regardless of how obvious the quote might be.
2. The ONLY acceptable detail is general geographic location such as state, country, regions, etc. NO "this school on La Cienega/Santa Monica Blvd/Magnolia Blvd, etc."
-"Hold your sides with both hands and no talking with your hands or the rest of your body"
-"I gave Meryl Streep a set of my (insert teacher's merchandise)"
-"You don't need improv for film acting"
-"Memorizing is not important in my class"
-"Back when I used to rep (insert "Friends" cast member)..."
-"I invite casting directors to come to my classes at least once a month (they never came...)"
-"Tell me (by me, the whole class) what your substitution was"
-"There are 7 universal facial expressions"
-"It's okay to lie on your resume. McDonald's lies in their marketing"
-"You are required to rehearse with your scene partner for x hours based on how many minutes are in the scene, so a 5 minute scene will require at least 5 hours of rehearsal a week"
-"Stella Adler and Lee Strasberg BOTH studied with Stanislavski around the same time but came back with completely opposite views" (Strasberg NEVER met Stanislavski!)
-"Lee Strasberg taught Marlon Brando" (Marlon only claims Stella Adler as his teacher)
-"You must come up with a detailed backstory even if your character only says one line"
-"There are no dumb characters, just dim"
-"Only look at your lines and don't read the other person's lines nor the stage directions/descriptions"
-"If you're breathing deeply and fully, you should feel this sensation around your asshole"
-"I've done just about every drug there is. The moral of the story is DON'T DO THEM!"
-"I taught Brad Pitt" (Then why doesn't he endorse any of your books/schools and only cites Roy London?)
5 hour scene? haha that sounds like quite the scene.
"You can walk right into William Morris and ask for a meeting, and if you're confident enough they'll let you in."
And no, I'm not joking.
Haha. It's a Wagner opera.
But based on that school's logic about rehearsing a 5 hour scene would require 300 hours of rehearsing.
Love this post. Here's the douche bag shit that made me bounce out of the there:
"I'm really good friends with a couple of agents."
"I'm really good friends with a couple of managers."
"I'm on the Academy Awards committee."
"I occasionally get asked by casting directors for certain types of actors who fit roles."
"Most actors are idiots."
"You [did this one little thing 'wrong' and I will fixate on that to tear you down and make you feel as if you need to keep coming back to me]. Now go sit down you only get one crack at the scene."
"Your headshot is terrible. I know a photographer."
"Your reel is horrible. I know an editor."
Talking about a film star.
"Adrien Brody... That's a REAL Actor. (Looks around the class) We're not gonna find that here".
"Why do you do this? You're poor and you'll always be poor you stupid, silly ... ACTORS!"
"Breeeeeeeath through your asshole."
"You won't understand how to use this until you're older - after you've had your ass kicked by the world, done a lot of drugs and had sex with strangers." (To a group of high school juniors.)
"It's ACTING. Not acting. Acting schmacting! Got it?"
"You can't do this scene dressed in black! He has to want to fuck you!"
"If I don't have a hard-on by the end of this monologue, you get a B."
"I need to see more of your feminine side - except in a tearing meat off the bone down in the mud fucking a goat kind of a way."
"What the hell have you done to yourself? I need Rosalind! Not a goddamned action star!" (At the beginning of my senior year in high school when I came back all tan and buff after a summer of working out at the beach.)
"Theater acting isn't really acting."
I kid you not, I rarely post, but sometimes you just have to...
Just react the way you would really react in real life. (30 seconds later) NO! NO! YOU WOULD NOT REACT THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Um, yes. I would.
Acting Teacher: YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF, THEN!!!!!!!
Teacher was doing this thing where they just talk about random things for the first half hour of class. No actual teaching going on. Student that had been at the school for a good five years or so and was always treated badly by the teacher walks in, doesn't say a word and sits down. Teacher angrily says "from now on when you come in late, say your hellos after class" Stupified actor says "but, I didn't say anything". Teacher says "I could hear your energy and it was distracting". Teacher was dead serious.
Love some of the silly stuff you've dealt with so far.
Because people have already been PMing me and asking me who said what, let's add another dimension of fun to this.
If you're curious as to whom said the certain quote, you ARE allowed to PRIVATE MESSAGE WITH CERTAIN RULES!
RULES TO ASKING:
1. The asker can ONLY post in the Private Message for example:
"Memorizing is not important in my class"-(Teacher's name)
NO "So who said that quote?"
2. If the poster of the quote chooses to respond, the poster can ONLY respond with a YES or NO. NOTHING MORE!
NO "it's actually (insert teacher's name)"
3. If you guess it correctly, NO SHARING ON THIS BOARD!
"Now, imagine your little sister just got hit by a train... Use that emotion in this scene," said the acting teacher to a 12 year old preparing for an audition with an NYU grad student directing a short film about killing zombies.
There's no time for improv in television...(followed by)...I don't know anything about comedy.
This made me holler so loud, my cat jumped. Great thread, lol.
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