It's very difficult for me to speak with CDs, Agents and Directors. I have know knowledge of my family history. I grew up in a very antisocial family unit when every body was an independent and for them selves. There was no emotion connection. Growing up, every time I bring up lineage, or even culture. my family's explanations was very vague. To make things worst. My family dose not support my career, so it would be very difficult to put the peaces together.

I have other issues about my family's ignorance about the industry and they feel it's very exploitative and I will embarrass the family. I felt so discriminated, that I'm in the process of changing my last name. It's almost like disowning them in a way. Any way It gets very embarrassing when a person ask "where do you come from" After I try to explain, it sounds very vague and confusing. It's even effects my social life. So I thought, why even bother explaining about my family at all. my question is, the next time the topic comes up in a job interview or or even a social setting should I just tell them the truth or come up with an excuse. I don't want to sound like a mysterious actor or human being all together. Please help....

bumb

I'm a little confused by the question. When people ask about your background, they're not looking for a deep, in-depth family history - it would be fine to say "I grew up in [name of city], I have [X number] of brothers and [X number] of sisters, my parents were [type of job]." And that's it.

I mean, even if you don't know detailed family history, you grew up SOMEWHERE and had SOME kind of family group around you as a child, right?

quote:

Originally posted by TMR:
I'm a little confused by the question. When people ask about your background, they're not looking for a deep, in-depth family history - it would be fine to say "I grew up in [name of city], I have [X number] of brothers and [X number] of sisters, my parents were [type of job]." And that's it. I mean, even if you don't know detailed family history, you grew up SOMEWHERE and had SOME kind of family group around you as a child, right?

Yeah your right but It's just, it gets really annoying explaining, because I've been left in the dark with my family and my history for so long. So it keeps me lost. I don't know how to market my self as an actor or conduct my self in an interview with cd, director or agent. They give me faces like "you are an adult and why the hell do you not know where you come from" or "didn't your parents teach you any thing" look. I'll take your advice and just keep simple and see what happens

My family is very messed up. Lots of abuse, etc.

I remember my experiences made me the strong person I am today. I also know I am not my family.

Be proud of who you are. No need to get into long winded family stories with people. Just the basics.

People only know what you want them to know about you.

Focus on you. And break legs!

I agree with all of the above. It can be tough talking about your background when you're not exactly proud of your upbringing, but just keep it simple when you talk about yourself. It will help keep your focus away from your painful past and keep it on the present situation Your goal is to succeed and reach your dreams! Don't let the negativity bring you down.

It's perfectly ok to say you come from humble beginnings (if you do), since the casting director probably does too and appreciates your honesty. Or you're from a middle class family. But I agree, just say you're from whatever you lived longest or are proudest of. Sometimes they're just wondering about your accent. You can say you're living in the city for the last 10 years too, if that's the case and bypass it. Write down what you feel most comfortable with and go with that. Then skim over it with the cd

Ya they aren't looking for a history of your family. Not sure why it would be hard to talk to people because you don't have a great family background. Don't talk about it. Talk about you, why you love acting, why you want to act and keep personal questions at bay with simple answers. If they ask about your family, just say "We aren't close." Done - that will shut them up. No need to go into why.

Hi Toyin,
Use it as a jumping off point to talk about whatever you want. Eg: Agent: So, Tell me about your family? You: My family and I used to watch this tv show X, I would imagine x was my dad...blah" or "My dad loved Aliens... so I am fascinated with them. I go to Las Vegas and eat Alien Jerky" Agent: Where do your family live? You: I have amazing friends around and they are like my family, last weekend we went...." "I just started a new hobby..."
I mean make it into whatever you want to talk about. All they are doing is trying to have you talk to see your personality so just turn the conversation into something that you enjoy talking about or a funny story you have. They probably don't want to make you uncomfortable or make you talk about things that you don't want to discuss. I have been in those meetings when I worked in casting. We never minded what you talked about, but we would remember a funny story you told when you left the room. It should be a good experience for you too.

Hope that helps,
Joanna
www.joannabrooks.com

Toyin

I can relate but not going in details. But I was going through a crisis myself and a friend gave me Dr. Phil books to find who you are. I don't recall. One is work book. It will make you find yourself and accept things in life.

Try to look into it!

I think all of the advice given are so helpful thank you so much. Sometimes I talk to my self alot to find out who I am...I mean that is part of our job. The reason why I stress on this subject is because I can't just run away from it. It will come up in those meetings or when promoting work or when I'm working on a character. Even though my family issues are very dark and I feel so much resentment, I don't want to be that "angry actor"..... I will take the advice about talking about funny stories or other positive things about my self and background. The dark stuff well, it be can just be a mystery.

quote:

Originally posted by TorontoActress:
Ya they aren't looking for a history of your family. Not sure why it would be hard to talk to people because you don't have a great family background. Don't talk about it. Talk about you, why you love acting, why you want to act and keep personal questions at bay with simple answers. If they ask about your family, just say "We aren't close." Done - that will shut them up. No need to go into why.

"that will shut them up" lol thats true

Yes, they just want to talk easily about something, anything, that gives them some insight into you. I agree, if you have something prepared to say about a number of different subjects, it will be easier. I lost my parents quite early and find it makes some people uncomfortable if they find out, so I skirt around it usually. Accentuate the positive. And, you have some great emotions to access for characters that are going thru difficulties- use it to your advantage in auditions and performances. If you can let people see some of your pain and vulnerability in a character, it can be magical.

quote:

Originally posted by ImaniMom:
Yes, they just want to talk easily about something, anything, that gives them some insight into you. I agree, if you have something prepared to say about a number of different subjects, it will be easier. I lost my parents quite early and find it makes some people uncomfortable if they find out, so I skirt around it usually. Accentuate the positive. And, you have some great emotions to access for characters that are going thru difficulties- use it to your advantage in auditions and performances. If you can let people see some of your pain and vulnerability in a character, it can be magical.

Your so sweet. your subjection is very cathartic. When I'm working on a character I will borrow some of my past to make the performance the best that I can. oh sorry about your parents dear

Have you ever read or heard Jack Nicholson's family background?

Harsh doesn't even begin to cover it.

And I think it goes without saying he has had one of the best careers out there, if not the best!

I say look forward not backward. Use what you can, discard the rest. Easier said than done, of course...but steps in that direction always help.