It has been discussed several times on here, how to deal with your child and handle the rejection they will undoubtly face in this career field.

But what about the parents? As the actual auditioner, I have come to terms that I am NOT right for every role, and can handle rejection perfectly well. I have also been able to put into practice the whole idea of "Forgetting about the audition when you leave the building."

-But my parents can't!

Let's get this straight, they aren't stage parents, and if anything they are getting me to try a STOP acting ("not stable" "not safe"). But after auditions they will always be "So when do you find out if you got it? How will they contact you?" And then every day for a weeks or so it's third degree "Did you get a callback?!"

Same goes for when I do not get a role! "How come you didn't get it?" "How did you feel about the audition?" Etc.

This all gets annoying, but I don't take it to heart. The question is, how do I get them to get over it? And have the attitude I have? Or at least stop beating themselves up over lost oppurtunites? They don't even approve of me doing this AT ALL, so why?


Thank you for your feedback!

Don't tell them...seriously...I never tell my family or friends anything my kids are doing...why...because they would CONSTANTLY be asking me how auditions, etc went. (in fact a large majority of family and friends don't know my children do this)

I would just talk about other things and if you book something then you can say...guess what?

momto2b2g,

i have to say that i am glad to hear someone else who doesn't feel the need to tell everyone about every time we trek into ny. we are in a dry spell so to speak. my dd has been put on hold twice in the past month, but hasn't booked something in almost four months! the only people who know she does this are my immediate family and lately they are also asking me why isn't she getting picked...when will you hear back...etc..etc.. if it wasn't that i relied on them for babysitting my other kids i would never tell them anything about the auditions.

A lot of the time they have to drive me, and if "By god, I am driving you here; you better tell me what it
s for."

So keeping them out of the loop isn't really an option. And of course, whenever my finds out about an audition, she calls all my aunts and grandparents to tell them, because to her "I've basically got it." So when I don't it's crazy!

*sigh*

I feel your pain- just about every aspect you mentioned, minus the transport.

I don't know- maybe explain to them that the CD's work for the producer, and not the auditionees?

Talk about clueless. My dad left a voicemail saying to watch a t.v. show he'd seen that would give insight to the workings of show business. The show? The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

quote:

Originally posted by transfergirl:
The show? The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

Funny.

Today, I was told that maybe I should pay the $2200 to join the union to become an extra because that might be a step up.

Haha! Janice Dickinson! The way you said that made me fall off my chair laughing.
When we first started my daughter got lucky and booked 2 commercials in the first few months and still I had an aunt ask me (in a dissapointed voice) "how come she doesnt have any LINES in them?"
I was like, "DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING HARD IT IS TO BOOK PRINCIPAL ROLES IN 2 COMMERCIALS!!!!????"
Family just has no clue of how much pounding the pavement we all do and how competitive it all is.

Actorsmommy,

I sent you a PM.

Unknown...
Why dont you sit your parents down and lay out the rules. Tell them not to tell family anything until you book something (I'm sure you will soon!)If you are getting audtions that's a good thing! They don't get how hard it is to even be called in. If they are not supportive they may be trying to prove you wrong about your career choice.Tell them that hurts and you want them to support your goals. It's a tough process and dry spells are even tougher. My DD lost 3 roles this week! We hope it's because there is something better for her around the corner! Just believe but talk to your folks, it will make a difference.Parents only what's best for their child, just tell them how you feel. Good Luck!

Babeedee oh I understand, I have two family members as backups but they are about 5th on my list for that reason lol they mean well, it's just very hard for them to understand this business.

I actually had to tell my grandparents about a role my son did because it's on one of their favorite shows, and although a small part, I just know my grandmother will see it and call...and I don't look forward to a tongue lashing by her, so I told them...of course then she called my mother who I DID NOT tell and proceded to get one anyway...you just can't win

U*Actress
It sounds like your parents are trying to connect with you. Don't shut them out.
I would buy a copy of Bonnie Gillespie's book "Self-Management for Actors", wrap it nicely, and give it to them. Do let them know how much you appreciate their support.
When they ask about specific auditions, ignore the exact question and refer to the book, - 'you know how Bonnie talks about * how important headshots are, doing student films, rejection, etc... I was wondering if you think it's a good idea to do X?
If your parents have a better understanding of the business, they may prove to be more helpful than you expect.
At least it's worth a try.

quote:

Originally posted by somuchtodo:
U*Actress
It sounds like your parents are trying to connect with you. Don't shut them out.
I would buy a copy of Bonnie Gillespie's book "Self-Management for Actors", wrap it nicely, and give it to them. Do let them know how much you appreciate their support.

Will do, thanks!

Good news, I'm getting my licsense in a few weeks! -That'll make me less dependent!

quote:

Originally posted by Unknown*Actress:
It has been discussed several times on here, how to deal with your child and handle the rejection they will undoubtly face in this career field.

But what about the parents? As the actual auditioner, I have come to terms that I am NOT right for every role, and can handle rejection perfectly well. I have also been able to put into practice the whole idea of "Forgetting about the audition when you leave the building."

-But my parents can't!

Let's get this straight, they aren't stage parents, and if anything they are getting me to try a STOP acting ("not stable" "not safe"). But after auditions they will always be "So when do you find out if you got it? How will they contact you?" And then every day for a weeks or so it's third degree "Did you get a callback?!"

Same goes for when I do not get a role! "How come you didn't get it?" "How did you feel about the audition?" Etc.

This all gets annoying, but I don't take it to heart. The question is, how do I get them to get over it? And have the attitude I have? Or at least stop beating themselves up over lost oppurtunites? They don't even approve of me doing this AT ALL, so why?


Thank you for your feedback!

Dear Unknown Actress (hopefully, not for long!),

Handling rejection is like gambling -- with all its ups and downs. Fortunes can be gained or lost in one toss of the dice or one turn of a card. But as we play the card that’s dealt us, we also must realize that in a loved one's effort to show us compassion (or disdain), actors will forever be viewed as the “the crazy artist” element of the family (“Why don’t you get a REAL JOB??” Guilt can be a great motivator).

When it comes to dealing with friends or family, I believe that, “Silence is golden.” Are your relatives under the same pressure to constantly inform you “how things are going at the office”? No. They simply have to realize that this is strictly a numbers game and not getting the part is an integral part of the job. “Fortune favors the brave.” If you can’t handle the many hardships you’ll encounter in this industry, there’s always the 9 to 5.

The great George C. Scott once called acting: “The profession of rejection.” Once your parents finally grasp the idea that you’re in the business for the long haul and that “the casting process doesn’t bother you, why should it bother them?,” you’re on your way to a larger world. Just change the subject and they’ll eventually move on. But no matter what happens, try to remember this: You cannot change or control what others think, say, or do. You can only control your own emotions and how you face adversity.

Your purpose for being an actor doesn’t require you to live up to anyone else’s expectations but your own.

“Whatever works.”

www.robertkim.com