What is the ideal relationship between parents and children? This relationship should be more severe, parents imposing their terms automatically, or should it be a friendship? In the latter case, if the child benefit from parents' indulgence and do something stupid? I know that the situation varies from case to case, but I speak in general. My husband and I get ready to be parents again, we want to adopt for the first time, and therefore we want more opinions. So, what do you think?

I am a single mom, and my son and I do everything together. He still wants to go places with me. We are truly friends. However, when it comes to the parenting part, he knows that I am in charge, and pretty much whatever I say, goes. He is beginning to become more independant, but if he argues with me too much, I finally give him no doubt that he is to do things my way. He knows when he's pushed me too far, so he drops it before it turns into a "head butting" incident.

Too many parents want to be "cool" these days. They want to be their kid's friend and are very lax in terms of discipline. And thus I have never seen a more unruly bunch of brats than those that run around today. Come on now, EVERY kid cannot possible have ADHD and need medication! How about this- they are just very active kids and need RULES and GUIDANCE to keep them in check!!!!

I beg of you- be a parent, not a pal!!! Kids today are horrors!!!

My parents were very strict- too strict actually. But as a result, I know how to say please and thank you- each and every time. I also know how to ask for something, rather than demand it. I also find it easier to get along with managers at jobs as dues to my upbringing and private girl's school, I know about respect and rules and regulations.

If you raise a child right, with discipline and boundaries and manners, he/she will adapt better to things later in life.

If you let your child do whatever he wants and refuse to impose and penalities or rules, you are setting him/her up for failure.

Your child will still love you- even if you are firm with him/her. Never doubt that.

quote:

Originally posted by green1706:
What is the ideal relationship between parents and children? This relationship should be more severe, parents imposing their terms automatically, or should it be a friendship? In the latter case, if the child benefit from parents' indulgence and do something stupid? I know that the situation varies from case to case, but I speak in general. My wife and I get ready to be parents again, we want to adopt for the first time, and therefore we want more opinions. So, what do you think?

my parents are retired marines, 25 years in the service. i hardly saw them, but i did know it was my ass if i got into any sort of trouble or didnt stay on my schoolwork. my mom was my "friendly" parent and we were very close when i did see her. my dad was my "no nonsense" parent, and he did the displining. somehow, it sent me out into the world even enough. im not a very affectionate person, but otherwise, im normal