I am reading a book called The Networking Survival Guide by Diane Darling and I read something that I think is especially true for actors.

The book said when you are networking you should be trying to get the persons contact information and follow up with them. If you are at a networking event you should start a conversation with some small talk about the news, sports, comment on an article of clothing the person is wearing etc.

Basically you are trying to build rapport and make the other person feel comfortable talking to you and take it from there.

Im not going to break it all down but what the book said is that your not trying to sell them a product right there or trying to get something form them right there. In the book it said you should talk to a person for 5-8 minutes and then get their contact information and follow up.


So the way I think about all of this in acting networking is this. If you meet someone and you think that they could help you and you should try to help them, thats what networking is.

So something that I thought about recently is when I met someone on the street who was a student film maker. He told me he was making a short film and I flat out asked him if he needed any help. That right there was a mistake because he just met me and I dident even build rapport with him and I asked something from him.

So what I should have done was talked to him for 5-8 minutes and build rapport. THen got his contact information and followed up with him. Then when I followed up I could have brought up the topic of me wanting to help him.

Its like the stick shift in a car. You start at first gear and move up. You would not start at 4th gear and start the car because you would not go anywhere and stall.


Thats It

I apologize in advance for having no organization in this thread.

Thanks for sharing this!

No offense but isn't this sort of obvious? I just feel like those books are like writing:

"when someone's dog just died you should not start joking about old yeller"

It just seems to describe social behavior that we as actors would know to use in any other situation but for some reason when we get around a casting director or agent we throw our sense out the window.

Of course within five minutes of meeting someone you don't try to get something out of them. It would be rude in any other situation wouldn't it? I don't know, thoughts? comments?

Note to TallyTal:

What's obvious to you might not be obvious to everyone else.

Secret Agent Man: I am a little upset with the way that TallyTal decided to responded... I mean, I know he was offended but it's like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something when he decided to respond.

Anywho, I NEVER even though about sparking up a conversation with someone who might help me about topics other than the acting business... so GOSH this advice is sure going to help me, I'll tell you that much.

Thank you

NOTE/ QUOTE to tallytal:

Our attitude toward our own culture has recently been characterized by two qualities, braggadocio and petulance. Braggadocio -- empty boasting of American power, American virtue, American know-how -- has dominated our foreign relations now for some decades. Here at home -- within the family, so to speak -- our attitude to our culture expresses a superficially different spirit, the spirit of petulance. Never before, perhaps, has a culture been so fragmented into groups, each full of its own virtue, each annoyed and irritated at the others.”
Daniel J. Boorstin

My own experience has allowed me to realize things are not obvious all the time. I have myself had to learn the same lesson many times, and I am sure we all have. Is not about common sense anymore.

Regarding to the subject at hand, I think we often are on a state of despair to "get there fast", because it actually is very hard to be an actor. You know what I am talking about. Anyhow, because of that it seems we tend to over react when we meet someone in the industry. What DewRag said about meeting someone who can help us and that we in turn can help them is, I believe, the best approach.

Juan

Yeah this is all common-sense. You need to return that book and get your $12-$15 back.

Letsbopenminded- thanks for your post

Letsgo2690- Do you not see the irony between the quote you chose to post:

Our attitude toward our own culture has recently been characterized by two qualities, braggadocio and petulance. Braggadocio -- empty boasting of American power, American virtue, American know-how -- has dominated our foreign relations now for some decades. Here at home -- within the family, so to speak -- our attitude to our culture expresses a superficially different spirit, the spirit of petulance. Never before, perhaps, has a culture been so fragmented into groups, each full of its own virtue, each annoyed and irritated at the others.”
Daniel J. Boorstin

and the way you reacted to what I said?
Also, it's she not he and just to give you some advice, a lot of this business is about networking. Making good relationships with people who may want to work with you for years to come. Would you go to a party of real estate agents and only ask them about what sort of house they could get you into? No, you try to build a relationship because you're at a party and it's social. The fact that two weeks later you want to buy a place and you remember them and they give you a great deal should not be the purpose of meeting them (or at least not look like it was).

Secret Agent Man: I do sometimes react quickly to things like this because I have frustration with the level of professionalism in our industry. You're right about me needing to try and understand that it may not be simple to others. But people do need to comprehend that walking up to someone and trying to use them for what they could do for you is actually rude. Much ruder than my earlier posting.

And me being honest and straight about this does not mean I'm offended by the original post or woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was just trying to open up a discussion.

I actually agree with what TallyTal is trying to say. There's a reason the industry has a reputation for being "fake" and duplicitous and I feel that a lot of that lies in how people in this business network. I don't think someone should be engaging other entertainment professionals with this, "be nice now so I can get something later" attitude. Instead, one should focus on finding relationships with people you enjoy working with.

I think when you're around agents and certain other business types, they generally understand what actors want from them. Having a good working relationship with them is important and you should like one another, but I think they'd see right through a "I wanna be friends" routine. As for other actors, directors, and creative types? I think focusing only on what they can do for you is a little odd.

quote:

Originally posted by TallyTal:
No offense but isn't this sort of obvious? I just feel like those books are like writing:

"when someone's dog just died you should not start joking about old yeller"

It just seems to describe social behavior that we as actors would know to use in any other situation but for some reason when we get around a casting director or agent we throw our sense out the window.

Of course within five minutes of meeting someone you don't try to get something out of them. It would be rude in any other situation wouldn't it? I don't know, thoughts? comments?

I know what you are trying to say. What I think is it SHOULD be obvious but it is not. Most people have very under-developed manners and social skills. Gimme gimme gimme is all they know.