Well Othello auditions came and went and I feel like kicking myself. I over prepared my Merchant of Venice monologue and psyched myself out. So I get up there, and completely freeze. I have to start over then I have to call for line like three times.
Needless to say (I'm lucky I'm on the casting board as well so I got to defend myself to the director who knows my work)I ruined my chances at getting Desdemona. Which is very upsetting to me because I had that part underway very nicely but now I don't even get to read for it. and the guy who's playing Othello would be one of the most awesome people to act with and get to play off of.
It's a blessing he has told me that I still have a shot at Bianca. It's small but its still one of only three girl parts. Call backs are on Monday, and I'm glad that I had a talk with him. It's a lesson in over preparing and putting much to much stress on yourself.
I am slowly learning that to worry about "being good" does nothing for you. And after talking to him he really does want me to get the experience of student directing so I'm trying to just move on, live and let live, and take this as God's way of telling me what I should do (since I was torn with auditioning or student directing)
But I've still had that I'm-about-to-burst-into-tears lump in my throat all day, so to make me feel better I've decided that we should all share our horror stories
Because hopefully this is one of those things that just happens to everyone.

aww no one wants me to feel better about myself lol.
J/k j/k

That happened to me when I aud for a play and had to use a classical monologue. I completely forgot my lines. Not even giving myself another 5 minutes to get myself back together didn't help. I'm alright w/modern ones or if I had to use it w/a modern one.

Everything happens for a reason, Snuffle. Go with it. Lean into it. Get every drop of experience out of your new position.

Usually stuff like that only happens once.

I feel you Snuffle.

well update to my update:
I failed to even land Bianca.
I'm very sad BUT I also feel that it's a good learning experience to learn and grow from.
I get to be a dancer though and I'm not sure how I feel about it because it's a club dancer which is not the style of dance I am trained in buuuuut we shall see.
Directing will be interesting. I just got promoted at work so it will be ... a load that's an understatment...

my 1st big shakespeare audition i bombed, stoped in the middle of the monolouge to appolgize etc...it happens, but 3 years later i ended up working for them. these things happen