Hi Darbi,
I experienced this very same dilemma on a film shoot, my first co-starring role with Martin Kove in a feature called, "Steele Justice." Thank you both for watching it.
The most obvious challenge in playing grisly scenes is this: What acting method prepares you for DEATH? You certainly can't rely on Sense Memory, and what other acting theory or discipline truly prepares you for your ultimate demise? In my death scene, I was supposed to be killed by automatic gunfire, then give a heart-rending speech on my death bed to my ex-Viet Nam buddy. The last thing I wanted to do was to deliver an insincere death that delivered more laughs than pathos. I was terrified.
I decided to call upon a close friend who had been grievously wounded in the actual Viet Nam war for his personal advice on the matter. The last thing I wanted to do was to rely on all the stereotypical "I've been shot!" reactions I've ever seen in war movies. So, I simply asked him: "HOW DO PEOPLE DIE?" He sort of misted up at the recollection, thought hard, then answered: "Everyone dies differently. I've seen men cry like babies when wounded, I've seen big, strong men call out for their mothers, I've seen men get extremely angry, and in the heat of battle some men don't even realize they've been shot." The ultimate answer was, it's an intensely internal and personal affair. There just isn't any "right or wrong" way to die.
I must admit that the day before the scene, I watched every filmed death scene I could find. But in the final analysis, I went with the most vivid memories of trauma and pain I could recollect to use in the scene, then just "went for it," completely and without restraint. For any woman who has gone through the pain of childbirth, I would imagine that this kind of prolonged discomfort would be the closest thing to the kind of agony a death scene calls for. I suppose that when the end comes and you actually die, you're not thinking too much on how you look and if your makeup is dry.
I don't know if any of my "advice" has been of any help Darbi, but whatever choice you finally decide to make, just FULLY COMMIT and hope the director likes it!
"Whatever works."
www.robertkim.com